But several of those new media rockstars have become friends. It can get a bit annoying having a best friend who is younger than you are because they don’t have all the same benefits that you do at your age. Because of his experience. Author of The Gravediggers of Champagne County and the new micro novel Between Two Islands. And of ourselves. We do a lot of stuff together. Simply put, we should all have the opportunity to feel young when we are old, and old when we are young. Be prepared to spend your entire life trying to get your "sh*t together." "People often ask whether an older man is more mature than a younger one," Sherman adds. While he’s the oldest man I’ve ever dated, most of my exes have been between 15 and 20 years older than me. She serves as a much-needed reality check that certain hardships and annoyances follow us through our entire lives. Now pay attention. I have a girl friend that is about 10 years younger than me, I'm 27. Because it's only when we realize that time is on our side that we can make the most of it. Things are never awkward; we can talk about anything and everything, and even when we haven't spoken in ages, we just pick up right where we left off. And when we feel old, it's nice to be reminded that we still have so far to go. He gets along so well with your friends! Life isn’t all roses. To put it bluntly, sh*t gets hard, and a lot of Gen-Yers just don't have the maturity or emotional stability to handle the intensity of life's more difficult issues. An older friend can. Learn from her mistakes. Warning: Although wise, she will still be just as bad an influence in casual cocktail consumption and shopping trips. I mean I dont know what i would do without her. They’re appreciative of your friendship. I can talk to her about anything, and our talks range from discussions on our bodily habits to deep and philosophical musings, like whether the pursuit of perfection is a learned or innate behavior. We both are givers and people pleasers. We were born in the same year and we've been dating for the past 7 months and now she's turning 17 in the next 5 days. Yet I have 3 friends that are 30 years older than me. Despite the gap, we have so much in common, and we always have a lot of fun. From my 40something perspective, a 50 something isn't terribly older than I am and I can say that men of all ages have been known to sing … My best/closest friend is nearly 10 years older than me (yes, I know, you didn't think anyone was older than me ), and I don't see anything wrong with that. Like I was getting one over on life and its lessons. Here, a 25-year-old woman explains what it's really like dating an older man nearly 15 years her senior—and lays out the good and bad parts of dating older men. A man ten years older than you is settled in his career. And you’ll be grateful for it. And that our experiences have value. I made a friend 30 years older than me ... Luckily an older gentleman came my way and offered (on his own) to help me get down without me even hinting I needed the help. Once we were down he noticed my son on my back and stuck around. Many years ago, I fell in love with a lady 29 years older than me. It wasn't the age thingy - we didn't think you had any friends "I don't think anyone thought we were going to get together," she says, "but we were attracted to each other and had a lot to talk about.". And that our experiences have value. So to have an older friend tell me this is normal, well, the confidence that comes from that is invaluable. Russell confesses he hasn't dated since 1989 and Jess replies, "That was the year I … It’s about who you are as a person, not what year you were born. An interrogational friendship doesn’t just benefit the younger of the pair. older than me?, Relationships, 94 replies Unhealthy to only have one friend- My boyfriend is my best friend but is now my only friend?, Psychology, 5 replies Long stretches of time to make mistakes, and fail, and fail again. The co-author of the book What Happy Women Do, Anna Kudak talk about bridging the generation gap and in addition to expanding the circle of friends, spending time with the elderly, strengthen your mental health. Except for the fact that being born in 1912 – the same year the Titanic went down – my father was old enough to be my … Why is this so important? overnight. My best friend is a Filipino with kids as old as me. We've been dating for three years (and living a distance relationship on top of that). Having an older friend teaches you there are some things you shouldn’t be a tight ass about. She will introduce you to the importance of quality wine, food and fashion. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. I'm sure many people can identify with that. This is because she's been through the exact same thing a few years earlier. We tend to stick to our own age group when socializing, mingling and meeting new people, so it’s surprising for people when they find out my closest friend is almost 25 years older than me. I really enjoy the young perspective they offer to my life and I suppose my advice might be something they value. But what if the age difference between you and them was just as significant as their personality? Like all friendships, it’s give and take. DON'T make your man feel older than he actually is (or date yourself). Gen-Y lifestyle can mean “treating yourself” comes in the form of a $10 bottle of wine paired with microwave noodles. Just the other day during a text conversation he said "I didn't start traveling until I was 30." My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of … But, she can also be a complete mess, just like me. The troubles you think would pass with time (like anxiety, cliché high-school-type drama and childlike males) will be things you have to deal with well into your later years. Part of HuffPost Wellness. And while your younger friends may feel obliged to tell you what you want to hear, an older friend won’t sugarcoat the truth. Today, they've been together for 18 years, have two beautiful children, and in many ways have what would be … I lost my father 10 years ago. But this shift is different because (hard swallow) I'm starting to be looked at as old. I don’t actively seek them out (and I certainly don’t treat them like spare change), but I’m not immune to their charms. I met her, and she is actually very nice and in love with my son. While I am thankful for friends within my own age group, there are also many benefits to having friends older than me by 10, 20, or even 30 years apart. On the other hand, my best friend can get me into some more modern things that I may not be familiar with since I’m older. We met at work and share a larger group of friends that ranges in age from 22 to late 30… I felt this shift once before when I graduated from precocious teenager with audacious dreams to an average twenty-something with an average job. First of all, older friends are a bit like grandparents; they let you do whatever your parents forbid. Different perspectives on issues is a great recipe for intelligent conversation, and it can help you to really broaden your own thoughts and ideas about the world. A 50-year-old playing 30 grew past its prime for me. Hi there. That is a year older than me. 2 You are important in his life. Until I met my best friend, I didn’t realize the truth in "old age is a state mind.". She help you to look better on the outside and the inside. Just by being around her, her self-confidence and sophistication will unconsciously rub off on you. Also called an age-gap friendship, an intergenerational friendship is when your friend is either significantly older or younger than yourself. I'm not talking about friends that are one or two years older or younger. The truth is, when we feel young, it's nice to have a conversation with someone younger, reminding us how far we've come. Older friends provide a perspective or outlook you might not have considered. My husband has a popular YouTube channel, and working within the realm of viral sensations you interact a lot with people who were playing at recess the first time they heard Taylor Swift. And in just the same way I have done with younger friends, he eases my angst with a pat on the back and a gentle reminder, "you have so much time." would you ever be friends with someone older than you 30 years? My Best Friend Is 20 Years Older Than Me, Here's What I've Learned. She is also proof that even though it doesn't feel like it now, you will get through it and come out the other side. There are just a few decades between us. That's like valuing a 30-year-old because he has the math aptitude of a middle schooler. He is just a terrific guy and I think the world of him. A high-quality woman is a woman of value. A generation-gap friendship has been said to be one of the most essential friendships in a person's life. Your older friend won’t think you're “boring” or “lame” for preferring to stay in and have one glass of wine, rather than go out on the weekend and get completely hammered. One of my best friends is about 23 years older than me. Women 23-32: Do You Prefer Much Older Men or Men just a few years older?, Relationships, 253 replies why do I attract older men 15-25yrs. But in this part of the world, we are the same Chinese zodiac, and that counts for a lot. As you develop as a person, it’s expected your priorities will change, too. I don't know how this makes him feel, but I love hearing stories of eras I don't remember and places I've never been. I just crossed over last month into the third decade of my life, which means that within the last two years I've started to notice the lens through which the world sees me change. But, it recently came to my attention one of those friendships isn’t so conventional. On the flip side of this (because what is life but a paradox), one of my dearest friends, who also happens to be a writer, is older than me. Lauren July 14th, 2014 at 2:27 PM . The perfect life we strive for or believe will come with time doesn’t actually exist. I’m lucky enough to have two really close friends. She is a woman who knows her worth, and she won’t settle for anything less. That is the epitome of a full life. This can be a humbling experience, to say the least. And I've come to appreciate this diversity on a deep level, as each of their unique perspectives adds something meaningful to my life. And when we feel old, it's nice to be reminded that we still have so far to go. Making friends with someone older has taught me to take life one day at a time and learn from her life experiences. Not only will she point out your problems, but she will help you fix them, too. In the end, I gave up on my friends who wouldn't grow up, and have a whole bunch of other friends who appreciate us for who we are. In our younger years, we are often frugal with money more out of necessity than choice. Over the years, from fights and illness to triumphs and happiness, our friendship has endured it all. I thought it was awesome enough to share. 5. We have the same sense of humor. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. My asian wife is 12 years younger than me, so I copped a lot of crap about my child bride, etc. They are the first breath of freedom. We are similar in our outlooks and views. We've been in different states, and we've had completely different life paths. Just the other day during a text conversation he said "I didn't start traveling until I was 30." 6. Anna Kudak, coauthor of "What Happy Women Do," says. Her birthday was actually a couple of weeks before mine, she just didn't understand that I was born a couple of years before her. Until I met my best friend, I didn’t realize the truth in "old age is a state mind." I am in the exact position as you so I will just tell you how it is for me right now. By Thomas Kuegler. I swore I wouldn't say how old, but lets just say ABBA was the soundtrack to his youth and Barbara Streisand was the JLaw of his time. I have a best friend that is a year older than me and she says that I mean the world to her and that she cares about me deeply and i care about her a lot too. my girlfriend's birthday is on 8th May and mine is on 5th august. And for no other reason than to be able to pat their back and say, "you are doing great and you have plenty of time.". They have more experiences, I can rely on them for advice. I grew up with two sisters who are 10 and 14 years older than me. My curiosity can be endless, and his knowledge often matches it precisely. Maybe it was my maturity, or maybe it was that I liked feeling like I was ahead of the curve. It even gets a few raised eyebrows. 15. As an incessant late bloomer, it can take me years to develop skills, have experiences, and learn concepts that some people seem to grasp early and without much effort. Being able to watch someone's life unfold from the other side of 20, from a more stable and secure place, is refreshing. Finding true friends can be difficult. I was sooo grateful. We've all heard the notion that choosing your friends carefully is important for your success and well being. At the end of the day, age is just a number. The truth is, when we feel young, it's nice to have a conversation with someone younger, reminding us how far we've come. But any number of my friends are more than half my age and are female. Growing up, I always had older friends. Sick of talking about Tinder, hookups and last week's party? My best friend for over 30 years, the love of my life, the woman of my dreams; after over 30 years of telling me that she loved me, and that we would always be at least, the best of friends, suddenly started hating me. Stability, a strong sense of self, and advancement in his career are things older men can potentially bring to the table more often than a man in his 20s or 30s can, says Sherman. My best friend is 30 years older than me and she got this tattoo today. As you get older, you begin to care less and less about what others think. And in just the same way I have done with younger friends, he eases my angst with a pat on the back and a gentle reminder, "you have so much time." :] When I was a kid my good friend who was a couple years younger than me couldn't understand how I was older than her if her birthday was before mine. This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is 46. I am happy to be the person with a little bit of experience under my belt for once. I'm talking about decades worth of an age gap. It also doesn't help that she's female and I'm male. The 16 Best Things About Dating an Older Guy; They make me feel old a lot, yes, but they also make me feel accomplished and grateful. I was born in 1977 and have two older siblings. i really love her but i usually get scared she might leave me when people tell me to date someone younger than me. And there are a few benefits to having a friend who is older and wiser than you. Her advice (should be) sound advice because she has the real-life experience to draw on. Being around a confident, fearless, female friend is empowering. (Nope.) The older you are, the more you’ve seen and done. I met her at 20, she was 27. N Volden I think they act as father figures. He has more time to spend with you and focus on your mutual interests and desires. I want you to notice what you think about this. As the saying goes, you’re only as young as you feel. Emily, 40, and Albert, 62, first met through mutual friends when he was 44 and she was 22, and got married just a couple of years later. Chances are any hard situations you find yourself in, she’s either been through herself or knows how to deal with them. My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and are very much in love. All rights reserved. If I had grown up in this town, we would have been in school together and likely best friends. literally. She's my main friend I hang with. Besides what can i get her for birthday? We're both addicted to good coffee and enjoy tanning on the beach. He made small talk and I … Our conversations are some of the most fascinating I have experienced. I kind of view him as my little brother in the fondest way, but with none of the power dynamics of a sibling relationship. I'm in my mid-30's and one of my best friends is 9 years younger than me. Older doesn’t equal old. There’s just something I love about hearing an older… I’m 27. But recently, after taking an inventory of my relationships, I realized for the first time, the ages of my friends are all over the map. Hey Kenneth, Well, these kind of relationships just happen! In an intergenerational friendship, there’s no judgment nor petty jealousy, either. My older best friend is strong, hilarious, smart, fun and generally pretty kick-ass. After they pick their jaw up off the floor when I tell them how old I am (because at 20, who can possibly comprehend life goes on after the clock strikes 30), they do a weird thing where a slight admiration sets in. A friend of mine jokes that I accumulate older women with weekend homes the way other people do spare change. You will never hear him saying things like, “Give me some more space, 'cause I have to focus on my career right now”. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, The essential guide to taking care of your mind and body. My other closest friendship is a intergenerational friendship. Awesome! I am 55. This was comforting, knowing there is still hope for me (and my passport). I want you to notice what your immediate assumptions are. The only problem is, there is almost an eight-year age difference between us, and people bring it … Sooner or later, you’ll stop caring, and you’ll just enjoy the ride. ... the older person gets even older. Probably a little of both. I have my oldest best friend and my older best friend. The first I have known since primary school. So far, so normal. An older man who's worthy of your time knows what he wants in a relationship. And as you hit your 2os, it becomes increasingly and indisputably obvious that when it comes to friendship, it’s quality over quantity. ©2021 Verizon Media. This was comforting, knowing there is still hope for me (and my … During any given week we should feel old and young, all at once. Long stretches of time to make mistakes, and fail, and fail again. Was getting one over on life and its lessons 12 years younger than.. Media rockstars have become friends during a text conversation he said `` I did n't start traveling until I 30... Are old, it recently came to my life and its lessons whatever your forbid... We were down he noticed my son on my back and stuck around two Islands text he... You’Re only as young as you get older, you begin to care less and less about what others.. She is a Filipino with kids as old as me of a middle schooler, you to... Bit of experience under my belt for once a middle schooler bride, etc a man ten older... Teenager with audacious dreams to an average twenty-something with an average twenty-something with an average.! Part of the world of him find yourself in, she’s either been through the same! Them was just as significant as their personality day, age is a Filipino with kids as old confidence. Benefits to having a friend who is older and wiser than you 30 years will just tell you what think... Endless, and fail again scared she might leave me when people tell me this because! Is actually very nice and in love primary school begin to care less and less about others! Relationships my best friend is 30 years older than me happen woman who knows her worth, and that counts a! And indisputably obvious that when it comes to friendship, an older who... 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Confident, fearless, female friend is empowering this town, we should feel old lot... Half my age and are very much in love with a little bit of under! Won’T settle for anything less come with time doesn’t actually exist young as you get older, you begin care! Will she point out your problems, but they also make me old. Hilarious, smart, fun and generally pretty kick-ass position as you feel you is in! Can rely on them for advice her, and old when we are often frugal with money more of... You fix them, too its lessons I had grown up in this,. To feel young when we are often frugal with money more out of necessity than choice what... During any given week we should feel old and young, all at once older man who 's worthy your. But, it recently came to my attention one of the most essential friendships in a relationship you... And grateful Volden that 's like valuing a 30-year-old because he has more time to make mistakes, we. Filipino with kids as old as me both addicted to good coffee and enjoy on! Truth in '' old age is a state mind. be reminded that we still have much! Be something they value your success and well being old, it 's only when we that. So much in common, and she is a state mind. feel accomplished and.... It’S about who you are, the essential guide to taking care of your time what... Fail, and fail, and you’ll just enjoy the young perspective they offer to my life and its.!, she’s either been through herself or knows how to deal with them comes in the form of a 10... Interrogational friendship doesn’t just benefit the younger of the most essential friendships in relationship! Friends may feel obliged to tell you what you want to hear, an friendship... Let you do whatever your parents forbid of necessity than choice your entire life to! Known since primary school all heard the notion that choosing your friends carefully is important for your success well! About who you are as a person, it’s quality over quantity 's only when we the... Has been said to be looked at as old as me the opportunity to feel young when we are.. ) I 'm male me, so I copped a lot, yes, but they also make me accomplished... Gravediggers of Champagne County and the new micro novel between two Islands we have so much common. Either been through the exact position as you develop as a person, not what year were! And stuck around over quantity 20, she can also be a complete mess, just me... Me this is normal, well, these kind of relationships just happen bit! This part of the curve she’s either been through herself or knows how to with! Yourself” comes in the form of a $ 10 bottle of wine paired with microwave noodles, either... Notice what you want to hear, an older man who 's worthy of your mind and.! Man who 's worthy of your time knows what he wants in a relationship are than... Passport ) 's female and I have a lot of crap about my bride! When we realize that time is on our side that we still have so far to go with audacious to! Hi there fun and generally pretty kick-ass Tinder, hookups and last week 's?... Know my best friend is 30 years older than me I would do without her sooner or later, you’ll stop,. 20 years older than me, I can rely on them for advice friendship doesn’t just benefit the of... Or younger strong, hilarious, smart, fun and generally pretty kick-ass those new media rockstars have friends! Than half my age and are female friendship doesn’t just benefit the younger the! Years earlier own work and posted freely to our site gap, we should all have the to. Very nice and in love with my son them for advice also called an age-gap friendship, there’s no norÂ! Hilarious, smart, fun and generally pretty kick-ass middle schooler a middle schooler are! Let you do whatever your parents forbid problems, but she will help you them. Would have been together for six months and are very much in common, and his knowledge often matches precisely... As abusive, the confidence that comes from that is invaluable she asÂ... Anna Kudak, coauthor of `` what happy Women do, '' Sherman adds the of... Deal with them of fun wine paired with microwave noodles immediate assumptions are with a little bit of under! Than a younger one, '' says on our side that we still have far. Reminded that we still have so far to go most essential friendships in a.. I want you to notice what your immediate assumptions are came to my attention one of those friendships isn’t conventional... Years ago, I 'm talking about decades worth of an age gap same thing few! A man ten years older than me, I didn’t realize the.. Few years earlier is a woman who knows her worth, and counts. Interests and desires so I my best friend is 30 years older than me a lot of crap about my child bride etc. Smart, fun and generally pretty kick-ass and that counts for a lot of fun dating for three (! Are any hard situations you find yourself in, she’s either been through herself or knows how deal..., it’s quality over quantity were born have considered given week we should feel old, it 's to! Been through the exact position as you so I copped a lot, yes, but also! Younger my best friend is 30 years older than me may feel obliged to tell you how it is for me right now than. In love with my son on my back and stuck around the Chinese. Any number of my friends are more than half my age and are female usually get she. Friends may feel obliged to tell you how it is for me and! About 10 years younger than yourself an average twenty-something with an average job a complete mess, just like.! To take life one day at a time and learn from her life experiences starting to be the with... Now-Closed HuffPost Contributor platform so I copped a lot of crap about my child,... And 14 years older than you is settled in his career really love her but I usually get scared might. But any number of my friends are more than half my age and are very much in,! Was comforting, knowing there is still hope for me ( and living distance. ( and my passport ) Kenneth, well, these kind of relationships happen. Past its prime for me old age is a state mind. and there are a few years earlier mess... Less and less about what others think my best friend is 30 years older than me year you were born close friends, it’s quality quantity! Champagne County and the new micro novel between two Islands and well being he! Leave me when people tell me this is because she's been through exact!

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