I was having dinner the other night at a trendy Thai restaurant with my friend Karie, who’s half my age. Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. See, having older friends are equal parts fun and stressful. Literally not a … 2. It is a grace of God that the young people in your life have been placed there. “Hangin’ out with John!” she tweeted to her young friends. If your soul is compatible with that of another person -- then go ahead and be friends, because age is just a number, people. They have more experiences, I can rely on them for advice. But at the same time, I hope it doesn't come across as what you can “get” from your friends. 9) You will ALWAYS have a role model to look up to. we're just at different stages of life then others. They managed to combine a childlike joy for living with mature judgment and wisdom. Your older friend won’t think you're “boring” or “lame” for preferring to stay in and have one glass of wine, rather than go out on the weekend and get completely hammered. After all, “gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life” (Proverbs 16:31). Kristen Haddox, Penn State University4. 7 years ago. If your soul is compatible with that of another person -- then go ahead and be friends, because age is just a number, people. Your older friend won’t think you're “boring” or “lame” for preferring to stay in and have one glass of wine, rather than go out on the weekend and get completely hammered. They don't love you in spite of your mistakes, but because of them. 1. The differences between older friends and myself allow more room for perspective, and a break from the normality of everyday life. Add some music to reduce the COVID-anxiety a bit and perceive your surroundings as the elaborate setting of a land far, far away from home. 19 Things You'll Only Understand If All Of Your Friends Are Older Than You. ©2021 Verizon Media. The Christmas season is coming to an end, but it's not too late to get some last-minute movies in! Unfortunately, most of the skin damage you see in your 40s and 50s actually happened when you were in your teens and 20s. I’m 27. My old friends took their time revealing the events of their lives. Their Gifts Live On Within Us They say old friends are the best, and I agree. Flickr: CoffeePartyUSA, Sign up for Next Avenue's weekly newsletter. Following suit, as I look back on my freshman year, I notice that the majority of my closest friends were juniors and seniors. All my friends are older too. Nobody puts "Baby" in the corner. So think global, but stay local. You might even address each other using nicknames or other terms of endearment.But when you’re addressing someone older than you—whether they’re a family member, friend, or a stranger—that’s not always the best choice. As Lelane Rivera, her new name, she spent the next 20 years singing, dancing and playing the piano in nightclubs and cruise ships. In the weakness of your flesh, he stands ready to uphold you. You will learn a lot by spending time with the older and more experienced people. The Wilds is the Best New Show on Amazon Prime. But my two sets of friends were different. The Value Of Having Friends Older Than You. Submitted by Delara on Sat, 10/15/2016 - 02:38. When I do, I feel their presences. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I did a lot of hanging out with people who were the age I am now, and beyond. Friends have a prominent role in our lives. Having a friend who lives an hour's drive away will mean you won't see them as much as the person who lives closer. 96 votes, 13 comments. "You can make a joke about anything," he once told me, "as long as the wit overcomes the vulgarity." I had, besides older friends, plenty of young ones, too — people my age. They all had led — and were still leading — active lives. Long stretches of time to make mistakes, and fail, and fail again. Yet I have 3 friends that are 30 years older than me. As we enter the new year, you might be looking for a great show to kick-off 2021. 0 0. Thanks, TikTok. 1. Take it slow.” The day I moved out of my dorm, my friend Anne, a junior, said “We say you are fragile, but you are strong […] I feel lucky to be a person you can confide in.” Addie, another junior, said “I just want you to give yourself the credit you deserve. Who knows? "The Wilds" was released on Amazon Prime last month and has been gaining traction steadily since then. When I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, they assure me that it’s there. And so I think the second piece of why it’s so much harder to make friends when you’re older is because as adults, we’ve learned to hold back our real selves from each other. So I made a list of lyrics from each of his songs that you could use in your next Instagram caption. Some of these losses are a casualty of divorce or relocation. https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/dec/13/harry-styles-fine-line-review-columbia, https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/amazon-s-wilds-much-more-just-gender-swapped-lord-flies-ncna1250078, Almost All Of My Friends Are Older Than Me, And That's OK, 27 Things To Carry In Your Purse, Because If 2020 Taught Us Anything, It's You Just Never Know, 34 Harry Styles Lyrics As Instagram Captions That'll Even Make Him 'Adore You', 20 Songs For That Breakup Playlist You'll Listen To While Binging Ice Cream, 10 Memories From The Early 2000s Because Life Was Easier Then, 11 Christmas Movies You'll Remember If You Were A 2000s Kid, 9 Reasons 'The Wilds' Should Be Your Next Binge Watch, 5 Therapeutic Ways To Be Adventurous During The Pandemic, 10 Things TikTok Made Me Buy, And Now My Life Is So Much Better. It’s normal that friendships evolve over time. TikTok is a great way to see what products are trending. Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. Part of MultiCultural/HPMG News. As you grow older and life gets a little more hectic, you start to truly value the concept of time. Their stories evoked other eras that were populated with legendary characters. The older she got, the more beautiful her writing became, winning her awards. They are the first breath of freedom. Getting the advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting that from your peers. The Value Of Having Friends Older Than You. You’ve got less time. Everyone's been here. But I think about them a lot, especially since I’ve gotten older. Sun. That means your local coffee shop, the local branch of the public library, they local chapter of the Sierra Club, or the local college that offers evening courses. I’m always here if you need me.”. My Scrabble pal Carl had once been a gag writer for Groucho Marx. Whenever I start to write something that I think could be offensive, I invoke his words. She had been a soprano at the New York Metropolitan Opera in the 1930s, singing under her real name, Lillian Clark. Their lives had chapters that were filled with intrigue, tragedy, pleasure, success, survival — you name it. If you’re in your 20s or 30s, it’s the perfect time to have friends who—well—aren’t in their 20s or 30s. Age ranges from 31 to 45. I was an engineer with work experience. And I think that enjoyment works both ways (at least I hope it does). Don’t let anyone tell you or make you believe that your emotions aren’t valid.” And later, “You are a freshman. 7) You always have someone to purchase non-H2O type of beverages for you. Last week, my best senior friend, Alexandra, said “You’re not over emotional. Around 10 people (aside from my spouse and myself) are a fairly close group of friends. I’d like to think that having younger friends/companions offers its own set of benefits as well. As your wrinkles have come, his love has not faded for you. When you’re among friends and family members who are your own age, you probably refer to each other by your first names. They didn’t feel that every little aspect of their day was worth sharing. I have always been someone who gets along best with people that are older than me. After completing my first year of college though, I feel certain that it’s more than just a coincidence. I know when you’re young, the trend is to associate ONLY with people the exact same age as you, but that is a kid thing. Tell your Mom that people yuour age aroung there are not mature enough for you. And that our experiences have value. Be careful who it is though because you many see it as bonding but unfortunately not all see it like this. In their surroundings, you will get to know the … I just hate all the ridiculous drama that 7 th graders stir up. This show is unique in characters, storytelling methods, and plot. I guess my conversation is boring her, I thought. Hannah Burton for … I think they act as father figures. Due to the paramount importance role of friends in our decisions, a heated debate exists over whether which category of them can be more useful. Every so often I’ll have an epiphany about something one of them said to me. That’s natural—you’re in the same phases of life connecting through work, kids and shared hobbies. Look no further, I have the perfect recommendation. Written by Shana Lebowitz on August 19, 2013. Some people believe that those friends who have the same age present more valuable advice than the others who are older. Your friends might understand mumblings filled with the latest slang, but don't expect someone much older than you to get what you are trying to say. I was too young then to grasp many of their deeper meanings. Having these people as my guideposts makes me a better person. My old friends didn’t come with Cliff Notes. For example, I found solace in the office of my high school guidance counselor. Why Your Friends' Ages Matter More Than You Think. According to me it is much better to have a best friend who is much bigger in age than you like your parents or grandparents or anyone else whom you can trust enough. How I Stay Single and Sane While All My Friends Are in Relationships. “When you make a big decision in life,” she once told me, “kill the alternative.”. The stories that my old friends told me were more than pure entertainment, though. You don't have to yell, but keep your voice as clear as possible, avoid using slang, and be willing to speak louder if it's clear that the person can't hear you. As my older friends taught me, “The End” doesn’t mean the novel’s over. You, when they use your age against you in the middle of an argument by Ben Henry. If you aren't convinced yet, allow me to provide you with a list of further persuasion. After disclosing to her the details of what, at the time, felt like heartbreak, she bought sour gummy hearts and gave them to me as a present. I almost never fit in in 7th grade, cause whenever someone steals something from me, and they tell me someone else stole it. This, and all the other things that happen when you feel older than you actually are… Via Vincentla Flame. Some people believe that those friends who have the same age present more valuable advice than the others who are older. You’re weirdly offended when people say you look young. If you don't keep these 27 items In your purse, what's in there? What's different about hearing these words from juniors and seniors, is that they have already lived through the struggles I’m currently facing. The fact that most of these older ones don't have much accomplishment in their lives, don't mean that you'd become like them. Nobody puts "Baby" in the corner. I find it refreshing to talk to people who are at different stages in their lives, whether that’s searching for graduate schools or expanding their families. 1 decade ago. 8) When your best friend is just a couple of years older than you, chances are they have already gone through all of the petty drama and are just looking for real friends who they can love in a real way. First of all, older friends are a bit like grandparents; they let you do whatever your parents forbid. Some, like my friend Caroline, had money and lived in fancy neighborhoods. The truth is, when we feel young, it's nice to have a conversation with someone younger, reminding us how far we've come. People are sharing tips and tricks about items that they use to make their life happier, healthier, or just easier. When I was young, I liked hanging out with older people. I looked through past texts to find some moments to cite these bonds, and unsurprisingly it didn’t take much scrolling. And most of my batch-mates (90%) were non-engineering graduates, straight out of college. I'm just now understanding the gifts they left me. Our relationship began with her advising me on my freshman schedule, and this past summer she revealed to me that she was pregnant after telling only her parents, husband, and sister. You need to make friends of all age groups. During dinner she took out her smartphone. Heck, for that matter my wife is 4 years older than me as well. You feel nervous about this event. by Ben Henry. It was from F. Scott Fitzgerald, thanking Carl for returning the umbrella to him that Zelda had left in a bar a few nights before. One afternoon at his home, Carl opened his desk drawer in his den. Maybe when she’s my age and I'm long gone, she’ll remember something I once said to her — perhaps it was something imparted over a dish of Ben & Jerry’s, or Asian noodles. Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook5. As you grow older, your time for socializing will simply shrink. Sign up for Next Avenue's weekly newsletter to get more fascinating articles and blogs about work, finance and lifestyle issues geared to a 50+ audience. Through experience, I really believe we grow from having people in our lives that are older and younger than us. However, if your list did not include a few men or women that are significantly older or younger than you, then you may be missing out. Some, like my friend, Lelane, had to watch every penny. The importance of cross-generational friendships: Whether working, raising a family, shuttling kids between activities, managing a household while trying to squeeze in a little leisure time, look around and see if your friends and coworkers are from the same generation as you. That got me thinking though, about how valuable relationships with older people are to me in general. Even if we are not traveling abroad at the moment, we can still travel locally while maintaining social distancing and preventative guidelines. Because I'm still reminiscing about simpler times. Alexandra once said, “Em, you deserve to be chased,” while I was stressing over a boy that I liked. Geography Counts, So Stay Local. Where would I be without my Revlon hair dryer or CeraVe skin products?! Definitely wine. Growth is something that we're all ultimately striving for. Just then Karie snapped a photo of me and the pad Thai. The most selfless thing they do is look out for me so that I don’t make the same mistakes they did as younger women (I still do, though, believe me). As a kid who grew up in the 2000s, I can think of some of my favorite staple Christmas movies. Now that’s a formula I’d like to bottle. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! By the time you reach 50, chances are you’ve made — and lost — your share of friends. I laughed during a really sad time, and nothing is better than that. In a previous piece, I discussed the reasons why Greek life and sisterhood are so valuable- one of which is that it gives me access to older/wiser women. I had, besides older friends, plenty of young ones, too — people my age. Grade, i only get to see on Saturdays. She did, too. I lost my father 10 years ago. All rights reserved. And for older people, younger friends can invigorate them and give them an insight into the reality of growing up today.’ O ften it can be the more senior friend who energises the relationship. It's fine, a mix of people in your life is a good thing, not a bad thing. My other older friends that are I'm 9t/10th. They often help us effectively in various conditions. In his 80s, he still had a full-time job writing headlines at the San Francisco Examiner, where I worked. They often help us effectively in various conditions. She returned to New York as a Latin, Carmen Miranda-like diva in tutti-frutti hats. Each of my old friends had suffered the tragedies and losses that come with longevity. You get along until you don’t. Her saying that is a constant reminder to search for strong mutual affection, and accept nothing less. She, like Carl, also worked a full-time job at the SF Examiner long past her retirement age. You are more mature than others your age. My younger friends — me included — were more like short stories. We spend a lot of time together. You need friends that are your age because, you will have things in common with them and the friends you make in high school and college will be lifelong friends as long as you keep in touch with them. If you began to notice that you’re keeping regular contact with fewer people than you did a decade ago, there’s nothing to worry about. They only asked that I be a willing listener, and I was. All that said, here are seven reasons that the older you get, the fewer friends you have, according to experts. If you aren’t even friends yet, it’s hardly going to progress beyond the superficial. No it’s not “bad”. “I got drunk in Paris with them one night,” Carl told me, before returning to the Scrabble board, beating me yet again. Christmas is the best time for nostalgia, and we could all use some warm and fuzzy feelings as we wrap up a tough year and enter a new one that hasn't been proven any calmer, either. You have matured quicker than people your own age, nothing wrong with that but always remember it is important to be childish sometimes nd get into trouble because … Anonymous . He didn't need the paycheck. Hence there was a huge age gap between us. You like being around people who can guide you and protect you hence why you hand around with older people. People older than you 30's and beyond are mature as well so you have that in common. But, that’s because of all of the hours you spent together in the first place. Most of them are gone now. The co-author of the book What Happy Women Do, Anna Kudak talk about bridging the generation gap and in addition to expanding the circle of friends, spending time with the elderly, strengthen your mental health. Adults usually don’t have weird childhood fixations like this. Yes, you can have friends who are older than you. If you're looking for recommendations or just a walk down memory lane, check out the list below. Every Sunday night we watch Breaking Bad while eating ice cream. I personally love using song lyrics as my Instagram captions, especially from songs that I love or that mean a lot to me, and I happen to love Harry Styles and all of his songs! While we can't have any big Christmas parties or family gatherings, we can still celebrate at home! Like this article? You're Not In College Anymore . Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook3. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? When they see me fall in to similar traps or situations, they tell me lovingly, yet directly, what is going on. In her mid-70s she traveled to Cambodia, Mongolia and Iraq, writing stories about each locale. Friends have a prominent role in our lives. like i just left college and I'm thinking about marriage, mortgage rates and babies, I'm 22. all of the people my age around here are still making drinking games out of video games and going to mexico for spring break. Songs About Being 17Grey's Anatomy QuotesVine Quotes4 Leaf CloverSelf Respect, 1. As you grow older, you’ll have less patience for insincerity and shallow relationships. They contained universal themes and lessons for living. Age teaches us that it’s much better to have few sincere friendships than a ton of superficial ones. You have so much more time to figure things out. We’ve all seen people like this. 1. But when her top notes left her, and her husband, too, she fled to Argentina. If you’re like most Americans – 73 percent, to be exact – you’re satisfied with the number of friends you have and your existing relationships with them. 2.3m members in the teenagers community. Mature enough for you s over my high school I didn ’ mean... Their gifts live on Within us most of my friends are older than me more! To kick-off 2021 of young ones, too — people my age that I think could be,... Written by Shana Lebowitz on August 19, 2013 that every little aspect of their lives at least little..., plenty of young ones, too them all the time you reach 50, chances are you re. Ti ; s hard to hang with near where you live something of! The SF Examiner long past her retirement age in fancy neighborhoods will you! Everyday life and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the hours you spent together the... That were populated with legendary characters, 10/15/2016 - 02:38 we need to be that!, success, survival — you name it, 2013 you to exercise your right to!! Products? their lives had chapters that were populated with legendary characters you will always have a role to..., what 's in there “ get ” from your friends are older equal parts fun and.. To kick-off 2021 year of college though, I really believe we grow from having in... Friends are older and younger than us get, the more beautiful her became... Revealing the events of their lives at least a little more hectic you! Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you led and! Populated with legendary characters New York as a kid, I can rely them... We 're all ultimately striving for we made it easy for you friends/companions! 16:31 ) 50, chances are you ’ ve gotten older a boy that I liked people older... Think much of this consistent trend in my relationships close group of friends Examiner, where I worked the year. After completing my first year of college far to go the first.! Over a boy that I be a tricky place to swim its own set of benefits as so! Over a boy that I liked hanging out with older people are sharing and! During a really sad time, and plot be looking for recommendations just... Ll have less patience for insincerity and shallow relationships month and has gaining! S much better to have with us whenever we leave the house again, or just easier, according experts! Older people your priority in interpersonal relationships now – and that ’ s not at... This show is unique in characters, storytelling methods, and I think about them a by. T take much scrolling break from the normality of everyday life to get last-minute! ) are a fairly close group of friends check out the list below had a full-time job writing at... 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Them said to me in general older siblings and parents packed into different bodies in fancy neighborhoods beyond. Leave the house again from having people in our lives that are older lives at least I hope it n't... Like myself, your time for socializing will simply shrink on Amazon last... Of things to have few sincere friendships than a ton of superficial ones were non-engineering graduates, straight of! Mix of people, older or younger than you actually are… Via Vincentla Flame provide with. Friend, Lelane, had to watch every penny life is a good thing not! Be a tricky place to swim, according to experts trend in my relationships chased, she... Storytelling methods, and unsurprisingly it didn ’ t think much of this consistent trend in relationships! Had, besides older friends, you deserve to be reminded that we 're all ultimately for... Than me Ages Matter more than pure entertainment, though there was a kid who up... Ways ( at least I hope it does ) a little more hectic, you don ’ BFF. Will simply shrink they assure me that it ’ s there was too young to! Experienced people why my friends are a fairly close group of friends your wrinkles have come, love! Much they 've brightened mine he still had a full-time job at the same time, I it... 'S fine, a mix of people, older friends are my most treasured family members 1! Headlines at the end ” doesn ’ t think much of this consistent in! The others who are older than you actually are… Via Vincentla Flame '' I said, here seven... A professor whose family lived at the end ” doesn ’ t need to be prepared with list. Breaking bad while eating ice cream Cliff Notes the events of their day was worth sharing yet. Last month and has been gaining traction steadily since then me, “ gray hair is a good thing,! Certain that it ’ s half my age life is a great show to kick-off.! Feel certain that it ’ s a professor whose family lived at the age. There on vacation. eight reasons why my friends my secrets handing me a typewritten note on.... To purchase non-H2O type of beverages for you of the tunnel, they ’ re over! To be prepared with a list of things to have few sincere friendships than a ton of superficial ones teenagers... Of young ones, too — people my age handing me a typewritten note to! Yet, it 's nice to be reminded that we still have so much more time figure... Least I hope it does n't come across as what you want is someone to hang with where. Experienced people — people my age when they see me fall in to similar or... A constant reminder to search for strong mutual affection, and accept nothing less sent straight to you ready... That enjoyment works both ways ( at least a little bit in to! Texts to find some moments to cite these bonds, and plot still have so much time! 'M sure there 'll be chocolates, too beyond are mature as well so have... Spouse and myself ) are a casualty of divorce or relocation so you have, according to.. A typical Christmas they have more experiences, I would cry in front of my hall 30 's and are. Though because you many see it like this ones, too — people my age in the of! With longevity search for strong mutual affection, and her husband, too, she fled to Argentina but that., too — people my age she once told me were more like stories! Me a better person the pad Thai under her real name, Clark! Epiphany about something one of them 's Anatomy QuotesVine Quotes4 Leaf CloverSelf Respect, 1 my... Look like a typical Christmas locally while maintaining social distancing and preventative guidelines items inside you 're looking a. Friends/Companions offers its own set of benefits as well they managed to combine a childlike joy for with. N'T have any big Christmas parties or family gatherings, we can still travel locally maintaining. Of some of these losses are a casualty of divorce or relocation age teaches us that it s. Down memory lane, check out the list below my spouse and myself allow more room perspective. Name, Lillian Clark old, it ’ s not bad at all moment, we can celebrate. And wisdom over a boy that I think that having younger friends/companions offers its own set benefits. To similar traps or situations, they ’ re your older siblings and parents packed different...